Thursday, November 24, 2011
Raising Kids without Sibling Rivalry
Raising kids can prove to be the most challenging job that you will ever have in your life. Although every parent absolutely adores their children, sometimes the bickering and sibling rivalry can make a parent feel like they are going nuts. The constant back and forth yammering between siblings can often find that last nerve the parent has, and tweak it to the point that they can’t take it any longer. You are not alone in dealing with this. However, there are ways to eliminate the sibling rivalry in your household.
Mommy, Daddy – Guess What He Did
No household would be complete without the infamous tattletale. Every person raising kids has at some point had to deal with a tattler. Tattling creates animosity between siblings, and can turn a household upside down. The tattling must come to a quick end if you want a peaceful home.
Most parenting classes cover the issue of sibling rivalry. Experts suggest that the parents sit the child down and have a talk with him. You’ll need to explain that tattling is not very nice, and that it can hurt other people’s feelings. It’s also important to let the child know that there are some times that tattling is alright, such as when someone is playing with matches or poking the neighbor’s dog with sticks. The child must learn the difference between tattling just to get their sibling in trouble, and tattling or “telling” because someone can get hurt.
During this chat, you should also discuss the consequence for tattling in the future. Positive discipline techniques like taking away a favorite toy or losing playtime with friends are great for encouraging good behavior. Soon, you’ll be raising kids who don’t tattle.
Fighting for Attention
The biggest cause of sibling rivalry occurs from trying to get the parent’s attention. If there is only one parent home all day with two or more children, the kids have to struggle to get the attention that they need or desire. This can lead to real problems within the family.
Parenting classes can help you deal with this problem. Naturally you can’t clone yourself, but there are ways to give each child quality time. Raising kids is demanding, but if you plan special time with each child, there will be less competition for your time.
Let’s say that you have two children, ages three and six. It’s only logical that the three year old requires much more attention and supervision than the six year old. This can cause the older child to become jealous. When the youngest takes his nap, do things that are special with the older child. You can bake cookies, play cars or dolls, or just watch a movie or read a special story. These things will make your oldest child feel like they are just as important as the other child – hence, reducing sibling rivalry problems.
Spend some time in inspiring children towards appreciating and valuing their siblings. Motivate your child to understand and realize that he/she has to be protective and caring towards the younger sibling and that the younger child should also value and care for the older one.
It is never acceptable to be raising kids who use violence to settle disputes. Unfortunately, there are times when children will use their hands instead of their words. This problem requires immediate and positive discipline if you want to be raising kids who will fit into society.
There are parenting classes available that teach positive discipline techniques. It is essential that you learn about positive discipline to stop your children from hitting each other. You should never hit your child as a punishment, or you will be raising kids who believe violence is acceptable.Simply taking away toys or activities that the child enjoys should help stop the fighting. A time-out is a great method of positive discipline. The child should know what the penalty will be if he hits someone again. Knowing the punishment often helps curtail bad behavior.